I Can't Say it Better Than This

CS Lewis:
There is a stage in a child's life at which it cannot separate the religious from the merely festal character of Christmas or Easter. I have been told of a very small and very devout boy who was heard murmuring to himself on Easter morning a poem of his own composition which began 'Chocolate eggs and Jesus risen.' This seems to me, for his age, both admirable poetry and admirable piety. But of course the time will soon come when such a child can no longer effortlessly and spontaneously enjoy that unity. He will become able to distinguish the spiritual from the ritual and festal aspect of Easter; chocolate eggs will no longer seem sacramental. And once he has distinguished he must put one or the other first. If he puts the spiritual first he can still taste something of Easter in the chocolate eggs; if he puts the eggs first they will soon be no more than any other sweetmeat. They will have taken on an independent, and therefore a soon withering, life.

Bloom

We've been terrible bloggers this year, mostly because, to be honest, it has been an overwhelming year so far for the Ottos. We've faced the death of my Grandma, Jackson's surgery, sickness, difficult situations in the lives of some friends and family, and well, just plain life in another country.

Here's how I'd summarize the last few weeks:

1. Grandma. I already wrote about her in my last post, but it always surprises me when I think about her and remember, "She's not here anymore." I'm glad she's happy and strong again....but I'll always be sad that there's one less person like her on this earth. I miss her.

2. Jackson. This boy does not do anything half-way. His surgical experience began with him leaping up onto the gurney, ready to go. Everything went just as smoothly as it could have, for which we are unendingly grateful. It's still a wee bit stressful to have your little guy go under the knife in a Guatemalan hospital. I'm still amazed at the peace we had as we made the decision, though, and the incredible gift God gave us of sending my mom down that very week.

3. Mom. I can't say enough about this. Except maybe I can, because if I start, I'll just end up blubbering. Ah well. We enjoyed almost 3 weeks of relaxing, laughing, talking, watching stupid movies, being tourists, talking, spending hours in the hospital, coffee-drinking, cooking, talking....just doing life together. And this house is way too empty without her.

4. Sickness. Before we moved here, we rarely got sick, rarely went to the doctor, never had a serious medical situation. Since we've lived here, we've experienced an onslaught of illness and injury, and while they've all turned out well, it takes its toll, especially these last few weeks.

5. The, um, interesting way things roll here. Let's just say that we've felt the earth move, literally, underneath us. Nothing, absolutely nothing at all like what people in other places have been through, but very! exciting! especially in the dark. Although the kids think it's quite fun to run outside at 2 a.m. in their pajamas. What's so wrong with that?
Then there are the "usual" challenges like: having the water go out for hours on end, power lines blowing up and blowing out some of our electronics (nothing valuable...thankful for that, too), and even just the general chaos around town as Easter season kicks in.

The bottom line is that, despite the stress and plain craziness of the last couple of months, we are all here, we are all healthy, we're all not only still speaking to each other but still loving each other.
I've actually gotten to see my kids step up and pitch in to help when I was sick. And they've simply blown me away with the gentle, sweet way they've taken care of their brother after his surgery. So, I don't know if I could honestly say that I'm thankful for the difficulties, but I am thankful for the beautiful things that those difficulties reveal, the things that you hope you are planting all along and that, when given the chance, really do bloom.

Grandma

My grandma passed away this past week. I have felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude when I think about all of the memories of my childhood that involve her. She was a huge part of my growing-up years, and that is precious to me.
She was the type of person who never sought the spotlight, although she could have. She was a very gifted seamstress and baker, and won accolades for both of those things, yet she never bragged about them. She let my grandpa do that for her, which he was more than happy to do.
The part of her legacy that I am most grateful for is the way she valued family. Even as they got older, she and my grandpa would load up their car with goodies for us and make the long drive from Florida to South Carolina to visit. The whole point of their trip seemed to be to shower us with love....and lots of candy. They succeeded.
I was blessed to live near my grandma again a few years ago when we moved back to Florida. I remember trying to take her out to lunch or breakfast, and she would forever insist that she pay for the meal. In fact, the very last time we saw her, in December, she was pretty upset with us when she realized we had paid. We got away with quite the coup there.
I think my daughter Shelby put it best when she looked at a picture of Grandma today and commented, "She doesn't even need her walker anymore. She can run now and not even get tired." Yes she can. And that is the dichotomy. So happy for her that we would never wish her back here, and yet sad for us to be without her love, her quick sense of humor, and her yummy cookies. I love you, Grandma.

What We Do

Because I tend to be the blogger in the family, and because my main ministry IS to my family, that's what I seem to write about...the day-to-day joys and struggles of life in Guatemala.

But I thought it would be good to blog about some of the other things we've done this year.

When we knew God was calling us here, we also knew that this was something that would need to involve our whole family. We were passionate about the fact that it wouldn't be just a "job" that Steve would go do, but an adventure that would involve each of us. And it has been just that.

The main thing we do here is help bring mission teams to Guatemala, and to host them while they're here. Steve is with the teams from the time they land in Guatemala City until he takes them back to the airport a week later. Well...he does get to come home for some sleep. He's very good at what he does, because he is excited about it, and other people catch his passion. His heart is to take people out of their comfort zones, to show them the need that exists around the world, and to pray that they leave here changed and ready to serve the body of Christ in a new way.

Because I homeschool, our kids are able to join the teams on different days. They've been able to go to the malnutrition center to love on the kids there. They've taken part in VBS outreaches, they've helped build houses, and they've climbed volcanoes. I don't know yet what fruit this will bring in their lives, but I am so thankful that they've gotten a glimpse of a world so different than what they've always known in America.

I've also gotten to join in with some of the activities, and I've gotten to be an assistant in the kitchen, where we cook meals for all of the teams. The best part of this is just chatting with the team members and hearing their stories.

I'd have to say that my favorite parts of ministry this past year were participating in the worship team at church and teaching English classes. I taught a group of 20 students who were very eager to learn English. If they can do this, they can get a much better job, so they were very motivated. And they were just plain fun! We shared a lot of laughs together as they learned new English words and I made many mistakes in Spanish, which they found very amusing!

When I reflect back on 2009, I am reminded how God is so huge, so in control, so purposeful and personal in our lives. He is writing a story that we never could have imagined. He is so loving that He allows us freedom within that story, and yet He will check us and guide us when we would choose a way that would not be for our best. I don't always get it, but I can look back and see His hand all over it. And when I see that, I know that the ending will be better than my wildest dreams.

Our Trip to the Park by Shelby

Nate has a new bike. He got it for Christmas. It is green.

When we went to the park, he went on the bike hills. Jackson and I love running on the bike hills.

I even made some smoke grenades out of dirt.

We walked Pastor Mike's dogs, saw some horses, went in the woods, and my mom and Miss Nancy went running.

We ate some bread, and I fed a little bit to the dogs.

It was super fun!

Top Ten

We're back in Guate after an amazing 2 week trip to the States. I could get all mushy and wax poetical about our time there, but I'm pretty sure I'd end up in a fetal position, crying and singing "Auld Lang Syne" if I let myself get the least bit sentimental about it right now. It's just a little too close to Christmas....a Christmas which will be our first one without any family. Aaargh!!! Ok, time to stay in denial and attempt to be humorous. I mean, that's a perfectly healthy way to deal with emotions, right?!

So, may I present my Top Ten List of Things I Loved About Our Trip. In random order, of course:

1. The FOOD!!! Good grief! I'd forgotten how many restaurants I'd forgotten about! Every time we turned a corner, we saw a place at which we used to love to eat. P.F. Changs! Chick-Fil-A! Five Guys! Krispy Kreme! I could've gone into a food coma. However, I restrained myself to just a few trips (Per week. Maybe per day. Whatever.) to Starbucks, and the kids got to eat at their faves. Apparently, they associate all things American with Cracker Barrel, and their dream came true on the last day of our trip.

And lest I forget.....there was some fabulous cooking by our moms as well. Grits. Pecan Pie. Yum.

2. Did I mention Starbucks? Oh, I jest. Combine Starbucks with the joy of walking into a REAL. LIVE. BOOKSTORE and my life is simply complete. This happened, and apparently I was so overwhelmed by the collision of two of my favorite things that I actually walked out without purchasing a book. Never happened before.

3. Running. Now, this was a treat. I guess I should give honorable mention to some of the other runners who joined me, namely my brother Travis, Steve....and Caron and Dad O. who played bodyguards on the bike. I got to run in the damp fall leaves of Virginia (TRUE off-roading!), the oh-so-chilly hills of N.C., and finally, the frigid city of Memphis. This was the site of my third marathon, the St. Jude Memphis Marathon. Amazing what a difference water stations, port-a-potties and NO traffic will make in a race experience! Of course, the finish line being in a stadium of cheering fans, the hot showers available after, and the buffet of pizza and other goodies didn't hurt either. Randy Long, a friend from Mississippi, ran it with me. Here's to next year!

4. Friends. Speaking of Mississippi, another gift on this trip was getting to visit friends along the way. We were so excited to spend a weekend with Randy, Penny, and Ben Long. Ben was an incredible intern with us in Guatemala this summer, and has become a good friend. Randy and I ran the race (and lived to brag about it!), and the Longs invited us into their home and to their church for a Sunday. We also got the chance to hang out with Rachel and Aaron Kelly(missionary friends from Guate who were in the States, too) and her family in Nashville. Rachel and I mostly used the time as an excuse to go to Target and Starbucks TOGETHER! It was a special moment for us, but I'm fairly sure the lady we asked to take our picture at Target just didn't get it.

5. Which leads me to what is undoubtably #1 on Jackson's list....Target. I'm not sure how many times we went here....to stock up on "essentials" of course, but I do know that every time we went, I was concerned at the rate at which my heart was beating. That can't be healthy.

6. Driving. Now, this might sound odd, but we love to travel the road. In Guate, my driving mainly consists of the mile-and-a-halfish trip to Antigua and then the fun of circling round and round the cobblestones looking for a parking spot. Or the take-your-life-in-your hands fun of driving to and from Guatemala City. So, the chance to drive a couple of thousand miles across a few states, take in some gorgeous scenery (loved those leaves!) and jam out to some good music was a journey in itself.

7. People. Maybe it was because we were in the South, but I was amazed at how friendly everybody was. In the Houston airport, the lady in one store was so helpful that I almost hugged her. But then I would've spilled my Starbucks.

8. New Places. This was a weird trip in the sense that both sets of our parents were living in new places. I've always thought of going "home" as flying to Florida, but now very little of our family lives there! My folks are enjoying their lifelong dream of running a B&B outside of Williamsburg, VA, and Steve's parents are semi-retired in NC. It actually was better than I imagined it could be. Both sets of grandparents have acres of land on which the kids could run! and explore! and get completely muddy! and although it was a different "home," it reminded me that it's the people that make it home.

9. Sightseeing. A plus of our parents NOT living in Florida was the chance to see new places. We spent one beautiful, drizzly day meandering through Colonial Williamsburg. We've done the actual Williamsburg experience before, but this time, we just toured William & Mary, poked through a few shops, checked out the fall leaves, and just enjoyed being together. What made it special for me was that both of my brothers were there, and that doesn't happen often. I'm pretty sure my mom was on happiness overload.

There was also a fun day in D.C. at the Smithsonian and a day in Memphis (Beall Street, Elvis, and Barbeque...which I smelled along the race course).

10. O.K. I am still NOT going to get sentimental. At all.

The best part of the trip was family. There's nothing like that love that has been there your whole life.

There's nothing like people who will get up at 2 in the morning, make you coffee, and drive you 3 hours to the airport only to turn around and drive 3 hours back home (thank you Mom and Justin).

There's nothing like people putting up with your ridiculous excitement about the little things you miss about America.

There's nothing like someone making a trip to the laundromat to do your dirty laundry when the washing machine breaks.

There's nothing like sitting around at midnight laughing until you hurt.

There's nothing like being together.

Can't wait until next time.

Ministry

I recently used the phrase "in full-time ministry" to describe our family.

It felt really weird, because I don't think of us that way at all.

Maybe it's because being a missionary doesn't look at like I imagined it would. All those years of sitting in a pew, watching slideshows of missionaries and their families posing next to people of varying colors of skin, in varying typical garb must have given me a lot of weird expectations.

I guess it's like being a parent. When I first became one, I kept thinking, "But, I don't FEEL like a mom."

I loved that baby more than anything, I worried about him constantly, and I lived for his toothless grins and laughs. But I kept thinking, "I'm not a grown-up. Surely someone is going to show up, smile kindly, tell me there's been some mistake, and take him away."

And then one day, I remember putting on my coat and heading out the door to run an errand. I put my hand in my pocket, and found that it was completely full of cookie crumbs. I pulled out my hand and stared at it, and that was when it hit me. I was a mom.

Being a missionary has been a lot like that. It's not until I'm telling someone new what exactly we do here that I think, oh....we are missionaries. But, when I tell them that, a lot of people seem to immediately put us on a pedestal. The most common thing they say to us, over and over, is, "I could never do that." I tell them that we are not special. We're a normal family (well, sort of!), and God can equip anyone's heart to do what He desires for them to do.

Ministry is not just a church service.

Ministry is not just living in another country.

Ministry is not just a degree from college.

Ministry is not just for the brilliant, the wise, the extremely gifted.

THIS is ministry: